STAVE I: CHRISTMAS

     I don’t decorate. I have enough trouble keeping up with essentials. Right now, in a feeble attempt to decorate for Christmas, half a red garland hangs on our house, in lopsided mockery of décor.    No tree this year. You can’t imagine the time saved by not putting up a tree!    Decoration, I figure, is for people of leisure or taste.    Once, when visiting a home goods store on vacation, I admired the dainty, orderly and splashy looking items and saw what I was missing: a whole array of things to dust. But among the vases, pots, table linens and candles stood something different: a bust of Caesar Augustus.    What, I wondered, was this doing here? But there it was and at a very reasonable price, too. Imagine owning an emperor for thirty bucks! Since my husband Art teaches Roman history, what could be a better accessory than the head of a Roman emperor?    I mailed it home, carefully wrapped, and it made it without b...

Everything about Christmas is fragile, especially at a 2-year-old's eye level. Shiny gold and red ornaments. Tapered candles. The special crystal and glassware and dishes. Candy canes. Colored lights. All the Christmas paraphernalia cries out to be inspected more closely, touched, handled and experienced fully. But they can break - so, no. They sparkle, shine, tempt, invite. But - no! Too fragile. Keep your hands away. No, no, no. Laurie, 2, stands on tiptoe, gazing in toddler adoration at ceramic Nativity figures. "Could I play with the breakable people?" she asks. Shepherd, angel and wise men are simply "the breakable people." It's sad, but that is her name for them. She has heard the Christmas story and knows "Away in a Manger." She wants more. She wants to move closer, to see firsthand the scene of the Nativity, to touch the jeweled turban of Wise Man No. 1, to feel the glazed wool of a sheep. She also wants to know more about that "Lord J...

Snow, or no snow, this time of year brings to kids those three words that mean so much. Not "I love you," "How r u?" or "Ho, ho, ho!" (Okay. "Ho, ho, ho" is not three words, it's one word three times; and "How r u only qualifies for online chat heads.) The words kids hear most often in winter are: "Shut that door!" In our house we have two doors that must be closed upon entry. The front door leads directly to polar air flow. An entryway between the front door and the door to the living room mixes that icy air with house air. The entryway serves as a buffer between Siberia and comfortable, living room heat.The kids rarely forget to close the front door. Somehow, frigid, arctic air jostles their brain cells enough to signal the door-closing response. But after removing coat, hat and boots, and basking in the warmth of living room heat as they enter the living room, the kids fall victim to drowsy, warm influences on those same br...

Early in December, when stars seem sharper and bluer than at other times, Christmas music seems to sharpen them even more. I unpack my age-old Christmas record collection.I'll put on “Goodyear's Great Songs of Christmas” with Mitch Miller and the Mormon Tabernacle Choir. I'll brew some cinnamon tea, light a mulberry-scented candle and write Christmas cards. Usually, when stamps, return labels, address book and cards are arrayed before me, the carols swirl up together with the tea steam, and my toes turn warm. A deep, bone-radiating satisfaction takes over.Renewing contact with friends is one of the best parts of Christmas. But this year something went wrong.It started when I tried to write a Christmas greeting to my aunt. How can you wish holiday cheer to someone who just lost a husband to cancer?Her chance of merriment at Christmas is about nil. My pen froze in midair as I tried to think of something to write. How jolly will her Christmas be, as she tries to mix celebratio...

The woman was young enough that most people called her a girl, but since she was pregnant there was little doubt she was a woman in body. Young, pregnant women are often sponges for advice, and this woman's difficult circumstances made her doubly vulnerable. Morality expert Dr. Laura Schlessinger told her that her horizon looked bleak. Low income, newly married to a man much older than herself --- but not the father of her child --- she should seriously consider adoption. And it was Dr. Laura's opinion that women who married older men were setting themselves up for trouble. Ann Landers also expressed doubts about the woman's prospects. "A man who first thinks of divorcing you, then makes you take a long trip near term without motel reservations is someone to watch out for. Ask yourself this question: "Would I be better off with him or without him?" Radio doctor Dean Idell told her that since she was so young she ought to give serious thought before contin...

The first magic flakes fell during church. By the end of the service, large, white flakes were dancing down from above. Surprise. Snow. The adults leaving church were properly awed, marveling at the first snowfall. That adults --- who very well know that they could be exposed to this cold, bleak material for five or six months --- still find it wondrous on the first day, is inspiring. Adults, who will rock cars out of it, slip and fall into it, tramp over it, writhe in pain after shoveling it, clean up after it; brush it, scrape it, salt it, shake it off; spend hours blowing it away and digging out of it --- still marvel on the first day of it, even in October. But all adult amazement is nothing to the sheer delight snow gives to the smallest kids. I don't know how developed the memory of a 3-year-old is, but I know that some glint in Laurie's eyes, when she saw those first flakes, indicated a memory. The sharp intake of breath and the smile that bloomed on her face as she cons...

If I hear another person complain that stores put up Christmas displays too early, I’ll scream. It’s not the stores’ fault thatChristmas cards and wrapping paper make an appearance next to spiral notebooks and colored pencils at August back-to-school sales. A certain shopper mentality drives stores to rush Christmas through Halloween and Thanksgiving. It’s holiday haste syndrome that does it. This disorder causes shoppers to order gifts in summer, to buy ornaments a year ahead and array them neatly in specially manufactured ornament boxes. Victims of holiday haste syndrome have dinner menus planned months in advance. Their Christmas cards -- purchased at last year’s closeout sales in January -- are addressed and stamped by Halloween. They spend hours on Christmas Eve searching for all the wrapped and ready presents they bought in June and tucked away safely. They shop online with credit cards, never needing to touch, wrap or even see the gifts they send to loved ones. If holiday haste ...