Some people love the sacred aspects of Christmas. Others love the corny parts. But the true Christmas connoisseur loves every aspect of the holiday. A true afficionado is the guy whose yard features snowmen, camels and mechanical Rudolphs, staggered near life-size creches, flanked by candy cane pillars – under flashing, neon Bethlehem stars. Wise men and elves crowd below blazing trees bedecked with angels and stocking-capped penguins.
The connoisseur’s home echoes with Susie Snowflake AND O Holy Night, mixing loudly with Schroeder’s jazz piano notes from the Charlie Brown Christmas video.
This quiz is not for lukewarm Christmas fans but for diehard devotees. See if you fill the bill:
1. Which song does NOT include pumpkin pie? a. Rockin’ around the Christmas Tree b. Sleigh Ride c. It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year d. Over the River and Through the Woods
2. What Asia Minor city was St. Nicholas said to have been bishop of? a. Myra b. Caesarea c. Alexandria d. Sardis
3. Who wrote these not-terribly-memorable Christmas song lyrics, in 1975: “O little Zachary, shining light/You've set my soul to dreaming/You've given back my joy in life/And filled me with new meaning”? a. Elvis Presley b. Linda Ronstadt c. John Denver d. Richard Carpenter
4. Which of the following was a sign of the Christ child, according to scripture? a. camels b. swaddling clothes c. drummer boy d. wassail
5. In Santa Baby (Eartha Kitt’s, not Puff Daddy’s) which of the following items are NOT among the gifts the singer requests: a. convertible b. heart of gold c. duplex d. decorations bought at Tiffany
6. The names of which two kids’ TV personas come from minor characters in the movie, It’s a Wonderful Life? a. Rocky and Bullwinkle b. Fred and Barney c. Alvin and Theodore d. Bert and Ernie
7. The words of which Old Testament prophet does Handel use in his Messiah for the Wonderful! Counselor! passage? a. Jeremiah b. Malachi c. Micah d. Isaiah
8. What character does Lucy want to play in A Charlie Brown Christmas? a. Innkeeper’s wife b. Mary c. Angel d. The Christmas queen
9. Plymouth Colony’s governor William Bradford insisted that colonists work on Christmas. Nevertheless, some celebrants reveled in the streets, leaving the governor no choice but to confiscate their athletic equipment. What two sports are mentioned in Bradford’s journal account? a. pitching the barr and stoole-ball b. foote-ball and spin the jug c. cock-fighting and horseshoes d. kick-the-tin and capture-the-flag
10. What is “slowly dying” in Let it Snow? a. your smile b. the storm c. the fire d. car battery
11. Who was governor of Syria (Luke 2, KJV) when Caesar Augustus decided to tax the whole world? a. Herod b. Pilate c. Cyrenius d. Agrippa
12. Which of the following naughty acts did the kid singing “Nuttin’ for Christmas” NOT do? a. spilled some ink on Mommy’s rug b. gave the tablecloth a tug c. made Tommy eat a bug d. bought gum with a slug
13. Which of the following songs does NOT have mistletoe in it? a. Holly Jolly Christmas b. I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus c. I’ll be home for Christmas d. White Christmas
14. What does Tim Allen’s character use to put out the turkey fire in his oven in The Santa Clause? a. baster of gravy b. cup of Malt-O-Meal c. fire extinguisher d. Redi-Whip
15. How long has Marley been dead in A Christmas Carol? a. Fifteen long years b. a year ago Christmas Eve c. since Scrooge left the partnership four years and a fortnight ago d. seven years
16. Which Christmas carol includes these lyrics: “Beneath the heavenly strain have rolled Two thousand years of wrong; And man, at war with man, hears not The tidings which they bring” a. It came upon a midnight clear b. Angels from the realms of glory c. I heard the bells on Christmas Day d. Frosty the Snowman
Answers: 1.C, 2.A, 3.C, 4.B, 5.B, 6.D, 7.D, 8.D, 9.A, 10.C, 11.C, 12.B, 13.D, 14.C, 15.D, 16.A
Rate yourself: 3 correct – More Christmassy than most; 4-8 correct – You’re verging on becoming a connoisseur; 9-12 – True Christmas Afficionado (You deserve a candy cane! Tell your spouse); 13-16 – Absolutely nutty over Christmas. Get help now!
Donna Marmorstein
All Rights Reserved Nov. 2004
The connoisseur’s home echoes with Susie Snowflake AND O Holy Night, mixing loudly with Schroeder’s jazz piano notes from the Charlie Brown Christmas video.
This quiz is not for lukewarm Christmas fans but for diehard devotees. See if you fill the bill:
1. Which song does NOT include pumpkin pie? a. Rockin’ around the Christmas Tree b. Sleigh Ride c. It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year d. Over the River and Through the Woods
2. What Asia Minor city was St. Nicholas said to have been bishop of? a. Myra b. Caesarea c. Alexandria d. Sardis
3. Who wrote these not-terribly-memorable Christmas song lyrics, in 1975: “O little Zachary, shining light/You've set my soul to dreaming/You've given back my joy in life/And filled me with new meaning”? a. Elvis Presley b. Linda Ronstadt c. John Denver d. Richard Carpenter
4. Which of the following was a sign of the Christ child, according to scripture? a. camels b. swaddling clothes c. drummer boy d. wassail
5. In Santa Baby (Eartha Kitt’s, not Puff Daddy’s) which of the following items are NOT among the gifts the singer requests: a. convertible b. heart of gold c. duplex d. decorations bought at Tiffany
6. The names of which two kids’ TV personas come from minor characters in the movie, It’s a Wonderful Life? a. Rocky and Bullwinkle b. Fred and Barney c. Alvin and Theodore d. Bert and Ernie
7. The words of which Old Testament prophet does Handel use in his Messiah for the Wonderful! Counselor! passage? a. Jeremiah b. Malachi c. Micah d. Isaiah
8. What character does Lucy want to play in A Charlie Brown Christmas? a. Innkeeper’s wife b. Mary c. Angel d. The Christmas queen
9. Plymouth Colony’s governor William Bradford insisted that colonists work on Christmas. Nevertheless, some celebrants reveled in the streets, leaving the governor no choice but to confiscate their athletic equipment. What two sports are mentioned in Bradford’s journal account? a. pitching the barr and stoole-ball b. foote-ball and spin the jug c. cock-fighting and horseshoes d. kick-the-tin and capture-the-flag
10. What is “slowly dying” in Let it Snow? a. your smile b. the storm c. the fire d. car battery
11. Who was governor of Syria (Luke 2, KJV) when Caesar Augustus decided to tax the whole world? a. Herod b. Pilate c. Cyrenius d. Agrippa
12. Which of the following naughty acts did the kid singing “Nuttin’ for Christmas” NOT do? a. spilled some ink on Mommy’s rug b. gave the tablecloth a tug c. made Tommy eat a bug d. bought gum with a slug
13. Which of the following songs does NOT have mistletoe in it? a. Holly Jolly Christmas b. I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus c. I’ll be home for Christmas d. White Christmas
14. What does Tim Allen’s character use to put out the turkey fire in his oven in The Santa Clause? a. baster of gravy b. cup of Malt-O-Meal c. fire extinguisher d. Redi-Whip
15. How long has Marley been dead in A Christmas Carol? a. Fifteen long years b. a year ago Christmas Eve c. since Scrooge left the partnership four years and a fortnight ago d. seven years
16. Which Christmas carol includes these lyrics: “Beneath the heavenly strain have rolled Two thousand years of wrong; And man, at war with man, hears not The tidings which they bring” a. It came upon a midnight clear b. Angels from the realms of glory c. I heard the bells on Christmas Day d. Frosty the Snowman
Answers: 1.C, 2.A, 3.C, 4.B, 5.B, 6.D, 7.D, 8.D, 9.A, 10.C, 11.C, 12.B, 13.D, 14.C, 15.D, 16.A
Rate yourself: 3 correct – More Christmassy than most; 4-8 correct – You’re verging on becoming a connoisseur; 9-12 – True Christmas Afficionado (You deserve a candy cane! Tell your spouse); 13-16 – Absolutely nutty over Christmas. Get help now!
Donna Marmorstein
All Rights Reserved Nov. 2004
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